有好幾年時間，我積極推廣動權，一邊呼喊著「吃素救地球」之類的口號，一邊責怪葷食者的飲食選擇是如何對地球造成負面影響。同時，我還是繼續從超市購買集約種植、噴過農藥、非有機、包裝好的蔬菜。我不知道自己吃的菜是從哪來的，但只要看似沒有傷害動物，就覺得自己充滿了正義感。
那麼，因為殺蟲劑、除草劑而死的鳥、蜜蜂、蟲子呢？因為這些人造化學成分而被污染的土壤和得癌症的務農者呢？流進河川、海洋的肥料所造成的嚴重水道污染呢？在集約農業耕作下無法修復、再生的土壤呢？這些問題我都不想去深思，因為要深思，最後免不了一部分責任會回到自己頭上。
事實上，人類體系的設置，已經使得不管做什麼事情，幾乎都會對地球造成負面衝擊。我相信吃素對環境還是比吃肉好的，是個很好的起點，但我也相信我們可以做得更好。我認為「吃素救地球」並不是真相的全貌——更接近真實的說法或許是「吃素減少對地球的傷害」。但與其減少負面影響，我相信人類真正的貢獻是要透過有機耕作、土壤再生、混農林業或其他任何型式的療癒為地球帶來正面影響。
生活中實在有太多我必須改變的事情，不時活在愧疚感中。但這種時候我也會提醒自己，要對自己有同理心。我做不到完美，但沒有關係，因為無論每個人現在立足點在哪裡，這都是一趟不斷進化、沒有終點的旅程。
（配圖是我們第一次嘗試在家種有機小番茄，成功！）
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For many years I was a hardcore animal activist pointing fingers at those who eat animals, accusing them for the negative impact on the environment while I kept buying my conventionally-grown, pesticide-laden, packaged foods from supermarkets. I had no idea where my vegetables came from, but as long as I wasn’t contributing to the suffering of animals, I felt good about myself. What about the herbicides and insecticides that kill off bees, birds, bugs, the soil, and cause the people who grow the vegetables to get cancer? What about the fertilizer that pollutes our oceans and rivers? What about mono cropping that doesn’t help the soil regenerate? I didn’t want to go there, because it was uncomfortable to dig deeper. The fact is, there are too many things we do that harm the Earth, and going vegan simply means we may be causing less of a negative impact, instead of bringing a positive impact. And I think this is what we are here for - to bring something positive to the planet, instead of trying to harm her less. There are still too many things I want to change in the way I live, and sometimes I can’t live with the guilt I feel about my actions. And this is when I remind myself of the importance of self compassion. I’m not perfect and will never be, and that’s okay. This is just a journey that never ends. (Pictured here is Tomi, our first attempt at homegrown, organic tomatoes🍅)
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#organic #homegrown #tomatoes #有機蕃茄
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